1.     An aged geezer wearing a leather jacket with an attached ski lift ticket approaches you at the rink and wants to play on your Division 1 team.  He offers to pay extra and take you to some Ducks games.  You:

(a)     tell the old pervert to get lost and call the police

(b)     tell him OK, and make him the team captain

(c)     realize you are talking to your reflection in the mirror

 2.     You are:

(a)     between 18 and 36 years old and in good physical condition

(b)     over 50 and overweight

(c)     older than dirt and just as mobile

 3.     When skating backwards on defense, you:

(a)     Are able to keep pace with the offensive player

(b)     Never skate backwards, because it’s better to always pinch in at the point

(c)     grab hold of the offensive player as he tries to pass you and haul him down

 4.     In the defensive zone, you

(a)     Cover your man

(b)     What’s the defensive zone?

(c)     Cross-check someone as hard as possible

 5.     When breaking out of the defensive zone, you:

(a)     Carry the puck out

(b)     Make sure to hold the puck for three seconds before trying a soft pass in front of the goalie

(c)     Cross-check someone as hard as possible

 6.     “Back-checking” is

(a)     An important part of the game

(b)     Too tiring if you want to stay on the ice for your full five-minute shift

(c)     What you count on the forwards to do after you unsuccessfully pinched in at the point

 7.     The ref blows his whistle in your defensive zone.  You:

(a)     Ask him what the call is

(b)     Call him a moron and argue until he gives you penalty

(c)     Head straight for the penalty box

 8.     Your team is down 9-6 with three minutes to play.  You:

(a)     Keep playing hard

(b)     Call Pineapple Hill to make sure the kitchen will still be open

(c)     Pull the goalie

 9.     The referee calls your team off-sides.  You:

(a)     Line up for the face-off

(b)     Call him a moron and argue the call until he gives you penalty

(c)     Pull the goalie

 10.  After the game, you:

(a)  Go to a bar

(b)  Go to the Pineapple Hill Saloon

(c)  Forget where you are

 Correct answers and scoring below

 Give yourself 2 points for each “a” answer

1 point for each “b” answer

0 points for each “c” answer

 If your score is 13-20, you will never fit in on the Wolves

 If your score is 1-12, you are clearly a long-time Wolves team member

 If you picked “c” for every question and scored a perfect 0, Click on Melnick Division get the schedule and see you at the next game.